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Archive for January, 2010

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Whenever I’m in Paris, I make time to go to this cool boutique. Last time I was there, I picked up these mirrors cut out in the shape of French cartoon characters for my son’s room. Sooooo coooooool! They also have a website and are having a huge sale right now.

Here are my picks this month:

-Olympia Le Tan’s  minaudières (a box that looks like a book)

– Giuseppe Zanotti‘s ballet slippers with rhinestone bullets. Simultaneously dainty and bad ass.

Valentino x colette Limited Edition t-sirt. It’s supposed to be an orchid, but I like to think of it as rotten lungs.

Buffalo Toyz introduces a designer toy called ALYENZ . This is trouble for me because this would look fantastic next to my be@rbricks.

photos: colette

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I came across these fantastic design ideas that I thought would be a shame not to share with your ass.  My favorite is the first photo of the purple tables making an entire wall unit. It looks so whimsical and cute. And I bet you could find furniture like that at Sal’s Boutique. You would just have to saw down a few legs, paint it and bolt it to the wall. Actually, that sounds like a lot of effing work. Shoes are always a dilemma with me. At the moment, my shoes are on the floor of my walk-in closet, so they are vulnerable to cat vomit and piss ( The guilty is Miss Darcheen). I already found a pair of my Moschino kitten heels covered in an expelled hairball.  How ironic. Anyway, the hutch would solve that problem. That book night stand is perfect for Sarah Palin. Who reads books anyway?  I threw in a belt side table for all the gimps out there.

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Miss Darcheen- The Guilty

photos: Outsapop

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Since I was about 13, I had collected every issue of American Vogue until about five years ago when I had to move to the West coast from the East Coast. To save a huge amount of space, I cut out the pictures I liked and put them in scrapbooks for references for when I’m feeling creative and want to whip out my glue gun and rhinestones. Here are some of my favorite images that shaped my style throughout my teens. I used to recreate some of the looks on a vintage store/ thrift shop budget way before  Todd Oldham and Cindy Crawford of MTV’s House of Style made it cool. Let’s just say, I smelled like old lady ass most of the time. Here were some of my looks that I wore to high school:

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SCARY , HUH!?  😉

photos: Moi!

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Exhibit A

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Exhibit B

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Exhibit C

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I love Chanel and everything, but putting the logo on everything, especially random stuff that no one cares about is pretty ridiculous. (And this is coming from someone who used to draw CC on EVERYTHING!)

Exhibit A: The Chanel Fishing Pole– Anybody who goes fishing will not know what Chanel is. They will most likely pronounce it as ‘channel’. So, who cares?

Exhibit B: The Chanel Boomerang and The Chanel Segway– People who use boomerangs are normally beach bums and beach bums think Chanel is a chick with fake nails and a big butt……Anybody who can afford Chanel has a chauffeur and would not be seen dragging their own ass around town in a Segway. Anyway, only people like this ride Segways.

Exhibit C: The Chanel surfboard– see exhibit B (The Boomerang).  The Chanel Guitar Case– That’s actually pretty cool, except most people who play guitar would rather spend that money on crack or weed.

The Chanel tattoo: Okay, confession…. When I was in high school, I used to draw that sh*t on my ankle with a Sharpie, like everyday. Rain or shine! So, I’m kinda excited for that, except that I now realize a tramp stamp is a tramp stamp no matter how you cut it. Let’s just say the jury’s out on that on for me.

The Chanel Samurai suit: Hawt!

I would totally ride that bike if I only knew how. Don’t judge! 😦

This one is BEYOND ridiculous- they stole that idea from when you fall asleep in class and have spiral notebook imprints on your face.

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photos: Refinery 29, WOW

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Brazilian footwear designer, Andreia Chaves came up with these cool shoes. These are just prototypes, so we’re gonna have to stalk her with emails and phone calls pleading to get his made for the market. That way everyone can have mirrored heels or ‘invisible shoes’. That would be perfect for blinding random people on a sunny day. I love sneaky sh*t like that. Anyway, I’m also digging the heel with cubes of wood (or cheese cubes since I’m hankering for a hunk of cheese right now). The whirl of metal on your feet sure do look cool, just worried if you’re gonna slice a toe or two as you walk. That would suck.

photos: Yatzer

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Designer Brian Lichtenberg has decided to take the one cute thing in the world and make it beyond hideous. This dreadful piece can be yours for $2,100. Or save yourself $2,990 and buy a Gizmo stuffed doll and hot glue gun it to a mini-skirt. Seriously, the idea isn’t that bad, it’s the execution that is at fault. Check out the side view of this monstrosity. Tucks- need not apply and even if you have nothing to tuck, it looks like you’re hiding something. And by something I mean a gut-over -bagina or an unfortunate case of crotch-rot (DO NOT CLICK HERE IF YOU DON”T WANT TO VOMIT UNCONTROLLABLY)*. I need to look at some Chanel to cleanse my palette.

* Shut down and unplug your computer to avoid a short from the vomit you just spewed.

photos: The Trendy Girl

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British designer,  Ryan McElhinney , made this Grandfather clock that chimes every 15 minutes for a client in Dubai. All I can picture is some oil sheik playing with He-man and Skeletor figurines while a harem of ladies are rolling their eyes and snapping their gum. Anyway, this masterpiece is covered in white  (I’m surprised it’s not in gold) paint and takes six weeks to make. Check out Ryan’s site for more cool stuff he made with toys, including a floor lamp and picture frame. If I had some cash to burn, I would have him make a naked Barbie grandfather clock in pink. That would be stellar!!

photos: Kronickle

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