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Archive for the ‘vile’ Category

If Jigsaw and Lladro were to have afternoon high tea together at The Savoy, I bet they would burp out something like this.  Seriously, this is pretty awesome just because of the shock factor. I’m not one for blood and gore, but GODDAMN! this is awesome. I mean, the ladies are so dainty, yet they are carrying their brains like a basket of fresh baked scones. Artist Jessica Harrison is behind these masterpieces. Be sure to check her site for more fupe artwork like furniture sprouting pubic hair. It’s like a Clarence Thomas /Anita Hill fest, but alas no Coke can. Anywho, this would be perfect in my dining room next to the Mark Ryden art.

photos: Jessica Harrison

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Canada-based Monster Kookies on Etsy sells these charming monster brain muffins, cakes, dental cufflinks, and industrial hearts. I think the industrial heart is pretty killer for that special Valentine. It’s like a robot heart! The dental cufflinks are pretty grody unless you’re a dentist and want to scare small children. Although, it’s not as creepy as these. I can really appreciate the details in the monster brains- all the bloody glaze and all. And the peppermint earrings are great, but beware of small children ripping them off your ears for a tasty delight! Check out  Monster Kookies for more cool stuff.

photos: Monster Kookies

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I stumbled upon this store on Etsy that writes the jokes by itself. Let’s take a gander, shall we?

Photo above:

“Necklace made out of hazelnuts, felted wool, goat hair, guitar string, silver.”- $300 by Art by Winona

Translation:  Necklace made out of found objects at the bottom of a 1996 Ford Escort trunk after a skanky weekend at Burning Man.

This is a felted whoo-ha for sale. Because we all need a replica of our whoo-ha sitting on our dressing table to remind us what it looks like. The bead gives a nice touch of herpes simplex, possibly caught during that skanky weekend at Burning Man.

You can choose any stage of venereal disease ( I mean, color) that suits your taste. My personal favorite is the blue-ish purple whoo-ha. That must be a replica for those strangling their va-jayjays with g-strings day in and day out. Or it belongs to a Smurfette.

And the venereal disease theme echoes through the rest of Art by Winonas Etsy shop with this polyp-y, green pottery. I love when a collection comes together full circle!

photos: Art by Winona

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What do you get with a couple of bathtubs, yeast, a pinch of bacteria, and several cups of sweetened green tea? I guessed a terrible yeast infection at 4 o’clock teatime, but designer Suzanne Lee calls this piece of work BioCouture. It’s basically my worst nightmare- A JACKET MADE OF BACTERIA. I already get a little skeeved out at vintage stores (I mean, I wash the skank out of stuff when I buy used), but nothing comes close to this. It sort of looks like beef jerky or better yet, something out of Buffalo Bill’s basement closet. Read more about the process here, if you care. I’m gonna skip lunch today.

photos: io9 ( thanks Reuben!)

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Nothing says sexy like an octopus hanging from your clavicle! Designer Dominc Jones made these jewelry inspired by animals and stuff. You may remember him from those gloves he made with the fingernails attached to it. Epic, if you ask me. Anyway, this was from a shoot at Vice Magazine, in case you’re wondering. The snail necklace must be the most uncomfortable to wear. I bet it feels like leeches, all slimy and stuff. That necklace wouldn’t last in house since my husband eats snails. He’d be like, “Mmmmm, appetizers!” and snatch it off my neck- no joke. The fish heads are pretty gnarly to. It’s totally staring back at you saying, “why you gotta be like that?”.

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photos: Haute Macabre

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Jewelry designer,  Alexandra Chaney, made a series of necklaces for her master thesis (she’s still in school) that is based on things that ‘repel’ other people. I think the razors would actually attract Cholas who want to cut a b*itch up. They don’t need to hide the razors in their hair anymore… they’d just wear the necklace. The second photo , I believe, are syringes? That would totally attract smack addicts! It’s like a Christmas tree of endless needles. I totally think the cigarettes would actually attract Amy Winehouse. Actually, Amy Winehouse would buy this entire collection. Alexandra needs to get on her ass. So much for repelling!

photos: Trend de la creme

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Polly Van der Glas has taken human parts like hair and teeth to construct his creepy jewelry and accessories line. Check out the brass knuckles (first photo) made out of teeth. Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? You can knock out teeth with teeth! This is some CSI sh*t! Imagine finding out your jewelry belongs to a missing person- dang. Be sure to check out Polly’s other jewelry/accessories, especially the human hair purse.  I wonder if her studio has moths and butterflies….he he.

photo: Trend de la Creme

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