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Posts Tagged ‘heels’

Okay, I went digging again into the deep realm of the internet and came back with these just for you! Yes, you need to see the booby clogs to make your week complete. I have a feeling my five year old boy would LOVE those. He has a boob fascination. We don’t question it. Anyway, the ice cream heels are the only ones I think I would actually wear out of the bunch. It kind of looks like something Billionaire Boys Club would come out with. The meatballs and spaghetti heels are just nasty. I can picture Vito wearing those on an episode of the Sopranos- that’s if Patricia Field did their costumes. The motherboard heels are great for geeks, naturally. And the Lamborghini heels could belong to a cross dresser with a small peen. Just sayin’. I mean, a girl would not wear those and it’s a known fact that Lamborghini is Italian for “I have a small penis” , right??  Anyway, the black bulging shoe is just disturbing. It could very well accommodate ankle goiters (does that exist?) or something.

photos: If shoes could kill

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Brazilian footwear designer, Andreia Chaves came up with these cool shoes. These are just prototypes, so we’re gonna have to stalk her with emails and phone calls pleading to get his made for the market. That way everyone can have mirrored heels or ‘invisible shoes’. That would be perfect for blinding random people on a sunny day. I love sneaky sh*t like that. Anyway, I’m also digging the heel with cubes of wood (or cheese cubes since I’m hankering for a hunk of cheese right now). The whirl of metal on your feet sure do look cool, just worried if you’re gonna slice a toe or two as you walk. That would suck.

photos: Yatzer

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Alexander McQueen’s Spring 2010 collection unveiled some fantastic shoes that belong on a steampunk robo-chick! I would wear this around town with a brown, leather bomber jacket and these goggles below. By around town, I mean dropping my kid off at school, the post office, food shopping, and the gyn(that’s not me). I ‘d even lend the five lens goggles to my gyn during the exam because ‘hospitality’ is my middle name!  Anyway, the DIY (gob’ment cheese version– mmmm, cheese) version of the eyewear can be made with the bottom photo as a guide. Just glue gun a bunch of metal you find at the bottom of your kitchen drawer to a pair of glasses. Then pray you don’t poke your cats as you give then a sweet nuzzle. It could turn into a bloody nuzzle.

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photos: Style, Outsapop

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Maison Martin Margiela designed these limited edition GLASS heels and are selling them, not in pairs, but per piece for $1,300 each or $2,600 for the pair. Basically, you’re paying a month of your mortgage to risk never walking again. Seriously, if you wore these, you’d have to stay on carpet or prepare for a bloody mess! I do think these are ornamental, but what a tease! You have Cinderella’s shoes and you can’t even wear the b*tch’s shoes. WTF? I’d be pissed. I wonder if you can drink champagne out of them. See! I finally found a use for these useless objects! But I think I’d rather get this:

lerituel__opt1 Christian Louboutin/Piper Heidsieck’s Le Rituel

photos: Fashion indie, Perez Hilton

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Ummmmm. I don’t even know what to say. Let’s start with the shoes. Obviously, the heel is what makes our eyes burn in terror. That’s sort of a hot idea to put a lady’s statue as the heel, but whoever thought this particular lady was hot , must have gotten lost in translation OR they find pregnant aliens with stubby legs and droopy boobs ultra-hot. On to the next specimen….first off, as you may already know… I hate feet! (except my son’s). So, this is beyond for me. I’m sorry …. I can’t. At least go all out  like this.

photos: fashin

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These are so gorgeous! Except, they are not wearable because they are  all made completely from paper.  That takes a great deal of talent to make these creations. The best I can do is make a lousy boat. I also can make those Fortune Teller paper games. I used to play that constantly when I was a kid… I was trying to get my fortune and see how the hell I would end up. And so , here I am…still wondering what my fortune will be and how the hell I will end up. Some things never change.

Check out  Ndeur  Le Creativ Sweatshop for more cool paper art.

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**Simply Spray/Teacups & Couture Giveaway Contest**

The person with the most  retweets (twitter)  of  ANY of my posts (see green retweet button below) between now and September 4 (midnight PST) wins a 6-pack of Simply Spray Black Upholstery Spray. That’s enough to cover the fugliest couch that ever was!

How can I tell who retweeted my posts? Because I’m a hot bitch that knows all. No, because I can see it on the retweet thingy. Once the winner is determined, I will tweet you a message for an address on September 6. I will also announce the winner on September 7th on this blog.

So, start retweeting my posts- for the love of an un-fug couch.

Bonne Chance!

photos: Ndeur

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Here are Irregular Choice‘s latest shoe collection. Here’s the breakdown:

First- yes (although, I would feel like a Redbull commercial)

Second- yes-  because it’s so ‘Snap!, Pow!, Kaboom!’ comic book style!

Third- YES, PLEASE because I would look like a Victorian that shredded a Dandy’s dress shirt for her shoes! Not very lady like! Love it!

Fourth- A firm, Hell to the NO! It looks like a Chewbacca paw. A Wookiee should not be a fashion example.

Be sure to check out Irregular Choice’s brand new cool website and their flagship store in New York City! Good times!

photos: Irregular Choice

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