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Posts Tagged ‘karl lagerfeld’

This season, Karl the Kaiser must have had inspiration strike as he watched his maid dust his 200 ipods.Why? Because feathers were everywhere at the Chanel Spring 2011 show! I personally love feathers and marabou and anything fluffy, furry and soft. So this is right up my alley! Specifically, the alley with the most stray Persian cats (do they even exist??) but that’s a different story. Anyway, although Chanel is one of my all-time favorite designers, this particular collection didn’t “wow” me enough. Seriously, the feathers saved Karl’s ass, because feathers make everything instantly fancy and precious. At least in my book and Alexis Carrington’s book ( coincidentally, we share similar books). When in doubt, add a feather- that’s my quote along with  183,464,503 drag queens.

photos: Style

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These bust pendants are by Nous Sommes. Whose bust is this? Only the imitable Karl the Kaiser!… and Michael Jackson and Lady Gaga…I kind of find it hilarious that Karl the Kaiser would wear his own pendant. That’s like the most egotistical thing to do ever. He IS Karl the Kaiser , though. Recently, I was observing my cat, Mr. Marmar and pondered why I am so infatuated with him. I found he behaves similarly to Karl Lagerfeld. Here’s the breakdown:

Mr. Marmar is always calm, cool and collected. So is Karl.

Mr. MarMar doesn’t give a f*ck. So doesn’t Karl.

Mr. MarMar likes to luxuriate on a Baroque-roccoco sofa in the afternoon sun. Karl likes that, too.

Mr. Marmar is picky about his food. Karl only drinks Diet Coke, which makes him picky.

Mr. Marmar is the top kitty in the house- what he says goes. Same goes for Karl.

They both have white manes.

So basically, Karl Lagerfeld is similar to my white, fluffy Persian cat. (I know, I need to get new photos of Mr. Marmar!) I need to get a Mr. Marmar pendant made.

Mr. Marmar

photos: Refinery 29

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Not sure if this is just a prototype, but Chanel showed this plexiglass briefcase during their Fall 2010 shows. I really love this, except what do you do if you have to hide tampons or pads? Or what if you’re an office clepto and swipe a stapler or two from the office? What if you don’t want people to see your prescription of Valtrex?? So many ifs!! I do like that each compartment is meant for something specific like an iPod (Karl needs to make a luggage for all his 40 iPods) or lipstick. Of course, there’s no compartment for delicious snacks like Whatchamcallit! Figures.  I still want one.

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photo: The Cool Hunter

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So, Karl must’ve Netflixed ‘Harry and The Henderson’ as of late because dude went all Big Foot on us! Honestly, I’m digging the fur. It looks like fake fur, which makes it even more fun. The models have caveman hair* , which I find FUG. A long way from the heart hair for Spring Couture 2010. Apparently, Karl brought in REAL glaciers from Switzerland for the show and had the models slosh through the melting ice during the show. Seriously, Karl should’ve had a city bus run through the runway splashing everyone if he really wanted to keep it real. I’ve been a victim of the splashing puddle in NYC. The worst part is people point and laugh… until it happens to them (like me!)  So, I like this collection- but I don’t love it. Having said that, I would wear that fur jumpsuit to Disneyland and see how many kids run up to me.

*Remedy for Caveman Hair: Brazilian Hair Products company, nuNAAT sent me a bunch of goodies that smell divine and work really well. Their products are made with ingredients from the Amazon, like aloe vera, açai, and passion fruit. Basically, you totally want to eat it….but don’t eat it. Anyway, because I dye my hair red every  two-three weeks, my hair can get pretty fried. I used nuNaat’s  Naat Cream Buriti (dyed and discolored hair) and it completely transformed my hair- AND it has SPF, which protects your hair and your dye job from the sun. They have a line of chocolate shampoo and conditioners and other yummy stuff. Check out their stuff here.

cr_buritiIt looks like strawberries, but they are Buriti from the Amazon. It smells soooooo  good!

photos: StylenuNAAT

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Check out these teabags from German company, Donkey. Each teabag comes with a fashion figure  soaking their crotches in your tea.The team includes:

Karl Lagerfeld (will he call you fat?)

Jean Paul Gaultier (probably pissing in your tea and finds it hilarious!)

Donatella Versace (does it taste like hairspray, tanning lotion and ciggies?)

Naomi Cambell (will she throw the lemon back at you?)

Kate Moss (She prefers lots of sugar).

There are so many jokes (mostly inappropriate- MY FAVORITE!) involved with these teabags that I’m going to step slowly away and let your dirty little minds take over. In case fashion figures are not your cup of tea (oh, yes- pun intended!), try the soccer legends teabags, pirates, animals, and even royalty!  Eight Euros will get you a pack of five, which can only mean that you have to double dip to get your money’s worth in American dollars. Check out the site for other stuff including Porn Confetti (because we all need Porn confetti) and this – which I still can’t figure out what you’re supposed to do with it. I mean, is it a candle or something??

photos: WOW

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Karl the Kaiser did it again! Friggin’ fantastic collection!The heart hair is what life is all about for me now. I’m still figuring out how to do that to my hair. I totally need to streak my hair with hair mascara! Lagerfeld introduced a pastel range of colors similar to Laduree’s famous (and scrumptious) macaroons. Not a tinge of gold could be found; only silver slivers and specks creating a fresh, modern look to a half century- old classic suit. If I had ten thumbs, they would all be pointing up for Karl Lagerfeld! The groom’s suit is worthy of a nice baked potato at Ponderosa, however.

photos: Style

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Exhibit A

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Exhibit B

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Exhibit C

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I love Chanel and everything, but putting the logo on everything, especially random stuff that no one cares about is pretty ridiculous. (And this is coming from someone who used to draw CC on EVERYTHING!)

Exhibit A: The Chanel Fishing Pole– Anybody who goes fishing will not know what Chanel is. They will most likely pronounce it as ‘channel’. So, who cares?

Exhibit B: The Chanel Boomerang and The Chanel Segway– People who use boomerangs are normally beach bums and beach bums think Chanel is a chick with fake nails and a big butt……Anybody who can afford Chanel has a chauffeur and would not be seen dragging their own ass around town in a Segway. Anyway, only people like this ride Segways.

Exhibit C: The Chanel surfboard– see exhibit B (The Boomerang).  The Chanel Guitar Case– That’s actually pretty cool, except most people who play guitar would rather spend that money on crack or weed.

The Chanel tattoo: Okay, confession…. When I was in high school, I used to draw that sh*t on my ankle with a Sharpie, like everyday. Rain or shine! So, I’m kinda excited for that, except that I now realize a tramp stamp is a tramp stamp no matter how you cut it. Let’s just say the jury’s out on that on for me.

The Chanel Samurai suit: Hawt!

I would totally ride that bike if I only knew how. Don’t judge! 😦

This one is BEYOND ridiculous- they stole that idea from when you fall asleep in class and have spiral notebook imprints on your face.

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photos: Refinery 29, WOW

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