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Posts Tagged ‘nails’

Australian designer Di$count are probably the punkiest punks that ever punked! Studded leather jackets- check! Jewelry that can pry out an eye- check! Hair that would make a clown weep- check! I love every bit of their work, especially their tongue-in-cheek take on high fashion-Note the faux Chanel lining in that snakeskin motorcycle jacket. Every piece of work of handmade and unique. So, the thousands of studs were, in fact, laid in the jacket my hand. Their poor fingertips are crying, as we speak. Suffering for fashion is so PUNK! Fuck, Yeah!!! Check out their site for more cool stuff!

*Mental Note*- wear fingertip rings next time I walk around sketchy downtown LA.

photos: Di$count

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If you want to save on a manicure or tips, this is the way to go…. Aaaaaannd you can remove them when you need to go to the bathroom! These would make wonderful weapons since they made from metal. Well done, Danielle! And if you need a vial to carry blood- here it is, also by Danielle Nicole!

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photos: Danielle Nicole Metals

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This is what Ursula’s nails would look like  if she was a secretary at DMV in Queens. The first thing comes to my mind when people have insane nails like this is – How can they make a sammich for lunch? or what becomes of them when they have an itch? and most importantly , how do they wipe their ass after a dump? The coral looks a little like blood vessels, though. That counts for something. There are so many clam and pearl jokes in this that I’m just gonna step back and let you guys take over. Run with it.

photo: WOW report

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This looks looks like the porn version of The Sound of Music (or Sister Act, depending on your taste). Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Photographer Cedric Buchet shot this editorial for Paris Vogue featuring a nun with claws like a Guidette on MTV’s Jersey Shores. I’m totally guilty of having nails like that in a former lifetime. I took them off when I was classified as handicapped according to my brother. I couldn’t type or wipe my ass.  Anyway, this is why I LOVE Paris Vogue! One part effed-up, one part couture! That’s how I like my couture, by the way. Imagine this chick teaching you catechism. Hawt! And look- she’s wearing that voodoo skull of Dior in the fourth photo! So sinister. Nuns gone rogue!

photos: Refinery 29

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London based Dominic Jones designed these leather gloves with gold ‘ fingernails’ attached. This is great, since gloves totally cover up your manicure. With these gloves, you may never have to get a manicure again (at least in the winter). I remember when I used have fake nails like a Long Island housewife done by the local Korean nail salon. It was an hour of agony with all the fumes and the stuff. I stopped after 5 years.  Now I have natural nails. I sometimes miss fake nails for the following reasons:

-my cats amusement as a used to tap by nails together to beckon them

-being able to scatch, like really scratch!

-setting my clock without the use of a coin

-scratching a scratch ticket without a coin or key

-picking up dead insects without really touching it

-having my finger sparkle while I flip the bird ( especially useful while driving on a sunny day)

That being said- I totally want these gloves!

photos: High Snobette

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Good God! What IS this? I did a little research on who designed these Fuggity Fug Shoes and came to no avail. It was destiny. I spared them their identity.(Mr. Mystery Designer: Your spelcum!)  Anyway, these Bear claw shoes are nothing but trouble , especially if you have to go through security at the airport. Consider yourself detained before you even arrive. These could have also been molded out of this elegant lady’s feet.  Speaking of claws, I’m against declawing a cat.  I tried to paint Mr. MarMar’s nails once and it went over terribly. I chose him out of all of my kitties because of his milky white fur- it would make the hot pink pop, you know? If I had to wear these shoes, I would paint the nails hot pink. 

photo: Imelda

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Those Japanese don’t fupe around when it comes to their nails! These are some pretty elaborate designs for such a miniscule area of space. Kawaii Nails offers a wide range of cute pre-made designs that would make Lee Press-Ons cry. Ranging from fruit, sushi, bows, bears, hello kitty, desserts, the toilet bowl, a steak dinner… no, only cute things and it should be pink (which I have qualms about!) When I was a younger and a more punky Roxy, I too, wore nails that discouraged me from biting my nails and made wiping my ass a daunting task. Here’s proof. Anyway, you can get the kits here. Remember, keep it pink and cute as possible to keep yourself looking like a Long Island house wife

 

photos: Kawaii nails

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