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Posts Tagged ‘vogue’

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During Stockholm Fashion’s  Week, Bosnian designer Lamija Suljevic showed her latest collection with heavy influences by gypsies, the last Russian Dynasty, and dolls (my FAVORITE!). The heavy brocade and embroidery allow for a structured shape that makes it look so elegant and dignified. This somehow reminds me of Bjork’s album cover for ‘Homegenic’. Both look like uncomfortable Royals looking to take a dump before the next feast- Hawt! Or they just look like living dolls. These dresses are perfect for that boring dinner party. You could stash an iPod, Vogue magazine,  Reese’s Pieces (E.T candy) , a couple kittens, and a pot of tea under those skirts. That’s all I need for a nice evening- I know, I’m such a cheap date.

photos: Fashion 156

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Since I was about 13, I had collected every issue of American Vogue until about five years ago when I had to move to the West coast from the East Coast. To save a huge amount of space, I cut out the pictures I liked and put them in scrapbooks for references for when I’m feeling creative and want to whip out my glue gun and rhinestones. Here are some of my favorite images that shaped my style throughout my teens. I used to recreate some of the looks on a vintage store/ thrift shop budget way before  Todd Oldham and Cindy Crawford of MTV’s House of Style made it cool. Let’s just say, I smelled like old lady ass most of the time. Here were some of my looks that I wore to high school:

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SCARY , HUH!?  😉

photos: Moi!

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This looks looks like the porn version of The Sound of Music (or Sister Act, depending on your taste). Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Photographer Cedric Buchet shot this editorial for Paris Vogue featuring a nun with claws like a Guidette on MTV’s Jersey Shores. I’m totally guilty of having nails like that in a former lifetime. I took them off when I was classified as handicapped according to my brother. I couldn’t type or wipe my ass.  Anyway, this is why I LOVE Paris Vogue! One part effed-up, one part couture! That’s how I like my couture, by the way. Imagine this chick teaching you catechism. Hawt! And look- she’s wearing that voodoo skull of Dior in the fourth photo! So sinister. Nuns gone rogue!

photos: Refinery 29

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To celebrate this month’s opening store in Tokyo, Opening Ceremony has teamed up with Jeremy Scott for some truly (troll-y) effed up stuff. Lucky for us, this atrocity is limited edition…. it’s a shirt with a Madonna-ized troll on the front and “Troll or Dare- World Tour” on the back. I think Jeremy may have been roaming Venice Beach listening to ‘Vogue’ after watching a marathon of ‘Full House‘. (insert Olsen twins joke here). Why does this shirt remind me of this? Anyway, I used to collect those trolls when I was a kid. I had every color and tried to tie them together by their hair to form a circle for no good reason. Hey, I didn’t say I was a Mensa member.

photos: Hypebeast

**Simply Spray/Teacups & Couture Giveaway Contest**

The person with the most  retweets (twitter)  of  ANY of my posts (see green retweet button below) between now and September 4 (midnight PST) wins a 6-pack of Simply Spray Black Upholstery Spray. That’s enough to cover the fugliest couch that ever was!

How can I tell who retweeted my posts? Because I’m a hot bitch that knows all. No, because I can see it on the retweet thingy. Once the winner is determined, I will tweet you a message for an address on September 6. I will also announce the winner on September 7th on this blog.

So, start retweeting my posts- for the love of an un-fug couch.

Bonne Chance!

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Of all the Vogues, French Vogue is my favorite. Why , you ask? Because only the French can come up with the most ‘WTF?’ photo shoots and make it look so damn chic! Click here for Exhibit A.  Exhibit B is above, because whilst the world is in an economic typhoon, someone at French Vogue thought it be funny to put up photos of jewelry on one person that is worth over 4.5 million EUROS. That’s like about  (to lazy to convert) 8 trillion american dollars, by the way, after inflation. Anyway, I do like this spread! FYI- I’m so insane about Vogue magazine that I used to collect every issue of American Vogue since August 1987. I stopped after a pile about 8 feet tall came crashing down on me on afternoon and almost killed Mr. Marmar! Eff that! Mr.Marmar was hissed off! He told me in cat speak ‘it’s either me or Vogue!’. And so, the Vogue magazines were dismembered and disposed of. Mr. Marmar made me do it!

marmar-headshot Mr. Marmar

photos: Models

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These Tie Leggings by Anzevino and Florence are actually pretty cute. I used to be a Ballerina (age 5-11) at one time. Then, I became a tomboy and wore yellow sweatpants and cross-country running  shirts for about 2 years. I called this my ‘Fugly Tomboy’ stage. Then, I discovered my mom’s Vogues in the basement and decided to dedicate my life to fashion- for better or for worse. And so, a fashion butterfly emerged from the dark, damp basement that day, sort of like in ‘Silence of the Lambs’. No, not really, but I chucked the sweatpants and decided to glam it up. After all, I was getting boobs. I’m waaaay off track. I love these leggings and they are pretty affordable at $75 each.

photos: 80spurple

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But on your Butt. Uggghhh! I find this so tacky and cheezy. I expect a day shift stripper from Bada- Bing to actually do this to themselves. Nothing says class like a heart tan/tattoo on your bum. I personally don’t tan. Yes, I’m pasty white and proud. My motto is “Do you see tan models in Vogue?”  ( the answer is no, unless you’re Gisele) and “I don’t want to look like a smoked trout” . That usually wards off people prying into why I refuse to tan. Anyway, if you’d still like to commit this fashion crime, it will set you back 40 Euros or like 500 US dollars with all this inflation. Sorry, I’m too lazy to convert that.

Photos: Skin tattoo

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